I get scared every time I get a new project to work on.

No matter how many projects I’ve done before. No matter how confident I am that I can do the work. Every single time I’ve done anything creative, I get panicky. And stressed. And feel like quitting before I even get started. Just like Han in the trash compactor on the Death Star, I have a bad feeling about this.

I get scared because I have no idea what I’m going to do. As I sit listening to the person I’m working with describe their problem or presentation idea or whatever, some little voice inside me thinks I ought to be able to spit out a really great, well-developed idea as soon as they stop speaking. They’ve come to me because I have good ideas. Now’s the time I better produce them, and by the bushel.

I know in my head that no creative project works this way. I know that once I dig in and start brainstorming that I’ll go through lots of bad ideas, and iterations, and revisions before I finally hit on an idea that’s truly a good solution. But despite this knowledge, my stomach still ties itself in knots every time I start a new project. Every time.

I guess learning to deal with that feeling is part of getting good at being creative. I don’t like it any more now than the first time I felt it, but I accept it, let it wash over me for a few seconds, then push past it and get to work. I don’t let it stop me from starting anymore. And I think that’s the first step.

Also, I’m kind of leery now of any projects I start that don’t cause me to feel this way at first. Usually a lack of that feeling means that I’ve done something like this before and I’m not challenging myself enough. It’s comfortable, and while that might feel nice, it also means I’m not gonna learn anything new on this one. It’s an indicator that I’m spinning my wheels. So in that sense, that terrible feeling is kind of like a compass. When I hear about a project and start to get that sinking feeling I know that’s what I need to be doing. I know it sounds funny but sometimes I get excited about a project just because of how scared it makes me.

I should also mention that I’ve never been unable to figure out a solution to any of the problems or projects that seemed so daunting and insurmountable at first. Eventually I can work through them. I guess my head just makes them seem much, much worse than they actually are. That’s another good reason to just push through the fear and get to work.

How about you? Do you ever feel this way?